Frustration

Description of the video:

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hi I'm Amy Gaffney I'm an educational
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consultant and a speech language
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pathologist with the Indiana Resource
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Center for Autism
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today I want to give you some ideas on
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how you can help your child when they
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are feeling frustrated
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everyone experiences frustration
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frustration can happen when your child
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doesn't know how to ask for help or get
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what they need children need to learn
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this important skill
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in addition children will need to know
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how to help calm themselves down when
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they're feeling frustrated
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there are two main ways that I want to
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talk about helping our kids
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deal with their frustration the first is
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that skill of asking for help it's okay
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to ask for help it's an important skill
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to learn and we want our children to
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know that there are people that they can
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go to who are happy to help them get
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something they want or something that
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they need
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we can ask our children to say help when
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they need something we also compare that
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with a gesture such as pointing to what
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they need and then you can ask with a
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questioning voice help need help
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and then wait to see if your child
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imitates that gesture or says the word
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look to see if your child gives you some
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eye contact between that object and back
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to you to see if they're wanting you to
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help them get something
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if your child is talking you can teach
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them simple phrases such as help turn on
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help get dull
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we can also set up situations so that we
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can practice asking for help it can be
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um
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easy to put things up Out Of Reach for
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our children so they have to ask someone
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else to get what they want we can put
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food in containers that are very tight
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so we know that they're going to have to
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come to us if they want to get that
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snack
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we can remove some batteries from Toys
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then the toys not gonna turn on so
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you're gonna have to come to Mom or come
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to Dad or come to Grandma uh to ask for
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help or to say oh this is not working
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what's wrong I need something from you I
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need you to help me fix it and then we
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can magically put the battery back in
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and wow we're the coolest people ever
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because we fixed that toy
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you can add a code to an iPad or an
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electronic device so that the child has
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to come to you in order to get things
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started
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when your child asks you for help
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whether it's non-verbally it's gesturing
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it's pointing it's taking you by the
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hand and leading you whatever point
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they're at with their communication make
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sure you give them lots of praise and
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doing a good job because when they ask
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for help then they were they would be
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less frustrated they were using a
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strategy to help them not become so
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upset and frustrated so we really want
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to encourage them to do that
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another strategy that we can use to help
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with frustration is just how do we calm
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down sometimes we need to take a deep
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breath and calm ourselves and then think
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oh we want to go ask for help but if
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we're really upset by something and it's
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not working we just start hitting it on
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the floor then we're not taking that
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next step of thinking about how can we
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go and get help or get someone else to
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be able to alleviate that frustration
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so that's why we need to teach kids to
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calm down first so they can think what
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should I do now that's problem solving
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how should I fix this problem
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so other ways besides taking some of
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those deep breaths that we can teach
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kids to do or squeeze their hands
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together when they're frustrated let
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some of that energy go and then relax
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but the next step is when we relax
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maybe we all we still need to take a
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couple of deep breaths maybe we need to
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blow out some candles
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maybe we need to use some or think about
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something that we like or bring up a
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situation where we say you know mommy
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fixed that toy for David could we fix
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your toy
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show your child pictures or videos when
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they're calm and relaxed
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maybe have a picture that you can hold
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up in the moment that says
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take a deep breath ask for help there's
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a Daniel Tiger song maybe they want to
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sing
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you can always use lots of different
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types of supports you can use pictures
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maybe they need help with putting their
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shoes on
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and the child gives you this picture and
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says shoes on or shows you that I need
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help getting my shoes on maybe you have
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a flower that you pull out that you want
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the child to
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below and that's kind of a signal that
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they need to calm down for a moment
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maybe you have
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I like this ball we give a child this
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ball and we have to
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take a deep breath when it comes when it
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gets big
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and then we blow it out
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and we do this a few times
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and then we say
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what do you need what can I help you
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with what's wrong
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show me tell me what you need
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so there's lots of ideas and lots of
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strategies that we can try to help our
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children learn to deal with frustration
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because sometimes things aren't going to
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work the way you want them to
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and it's a life skill that we want to
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start young so that kids don't get so
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frustrated and they get empowered to ask
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for help and to be good problem solvers
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I hope some of these strategies are
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helpful to you and your family